July 4th, 2008
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It’s the morning of the Fourth of July, and as admin is busy making his world famous potato salad, I’m in my backyard preparing a fireworks show that you will be able to see from fucking space…
I would just like to take a second to recognize how we lucky sons-of-bitches live in the greatest country in the world, and Tim Robbins, Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn, Johnny Depp, and any other asshole who complains about how things go down in this country can all just get the fuck out.
Let freedom ring, bitches.
Oh yeah, and fuck the British… You come over here and try that shit again and we’ll knock out the 3 or 4 filthy teeth you have left.
Take a report.
-Largee Doodle Dandee
Posted in Take A Report | 21 Comments »
July 3rd, 2008
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The 3-day weekend is finally upon us.
So whether you are …
Have a Happy and Safe Fourth of July!
Take a report.
-Large and admin
Posted in Take A Report | 30 Comments »
July 3rd, 2008
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Don’t forget the troops!…here’s some pics from Wounded Warrior Project fundraiser held at Bar9 back in June. Lt. Pat spoke and was terrific in relaying what a difference your generosity has made in the lives of Bayonet Company - and his friend Lt. Ryan Miller, injured in combat overseas, spoke beautifully on behalf of the Wounded Warrior Project. Greg Kline reports (!) that nearly $5500 was raised for this worthy cause.
Nick Krause, an organizer for the WWP, has another event planned for Bar9 on July 23rd, something even bigger than the events we’ve chronicled already. Here’s hoping for his continued success.
Note: those pictures are on the Hennegan brother’s website. These guys have been on a roll with their success in filmmaking, notably about their documentary on Barbaro. Keep an eye out on these guys.
Mostly unrelated: I am meeting up with the #2 (American guy) and #10 (Chinese girl) competitive eaters in the world this afternoon, a media thing before the July 4th hot dog eating contest on Coney Island. I figure one and/or the other will be good for a TAR interview. Please suggest some questions in the comments below. Ones that you’re genuinely interested in or just comic squibblings, I don’t care. I will ask them.
-admin
Posted in Uncategorized | 15 Comments »
July 3rd, 2008
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Haven’t wrote any bathroom commentary in a while, been jonesing to tell you about my dumps, so here goes…
Went to pick up lunch in the lobby the other day, but I stopped into the ground floor bathroom for a quick leak first. An intern walks in lugging 3 paper shopping bags full of chinese food. He walks past me at the urinal, puts the bags ON THE FLOOR two urinals away from me, and proceeds to take a leak.
Now I know for a fact that people piss all over the floor of this bathroom… I, myself, piss all over the fucking walls of that place every year after I get my bonus number.
I was tempted to say something to the kid… Nothing rude… Interns are often overwhelmed or just plain naive, and I thought he could use a tip from a wise old lunch-getting veteran. Plus I’d be doing a favor for the desk he was interning for, ’cause nobody likes to eat Chinese food that is dipped in urine. Then I recognized that he was an intern on the Sales Trading desk, so I held my tongue and said nothing… Fuck those douchebags.
Take a report.
-Large
Posted in All Business | 41 Comments »
July 3rd, 2008
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I can’t believe she’s only 22. She was a nobody right up until she did that flick Mean Girls in 2004, and now my head hurts just trying to think of how much cock and cocaine she’s ingested since then.
I used to find her whole “young-busty-redhead” thing attractive (the picture above is her “top tick”). Then it seems like she sold her innocence to the highest bidder, and now she’s just a no-talent petri dish… Sold to you.
If there was a Hall of Fame for no talent Hollywood whores, this chick would have to be first ballot, no? As a matter of fact, I’m gonna start an official Takeareport.com Hollywood Whore Hall Of Fame, and make this clam the first inductee.
Congrats, Lindsey… To celebrate, why don’t you go get an 8-ball and call up Wider Vilderama?… And then go shoot yourself in the face.
Take a HOF report.
-Large
Posted in TAR whore of fame | 55 Comments »
July 2nd, 2008
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The blond girl is either:
a) Doing a Jello shot out of her roommate’s belly-button.
or
b) Throwing up on her friend.
Which makes this picture either:
a) Sexy.
or
b) Still sexy, but only because of the little piece of ass cheek hanging out of the brunette’s panties.
Take a report.
-Large
Posted in Talent | 47 Comments »
July 2nd, 2008
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Jasmine Guy (only 44 years-old) from that Cosby spin-off A Different World, and Joan Van Ark (55 years-old) from a bunch of “bitch-shows” look like fucking corpses.
I would rather go coffin diving in the morgue.
Take a report.
-Large
Posted in WTFW | 59 Comments »
